i'm reading leviticus at the moment
and i was thinking about the weight of all these regulations.
i think the most common feeling i have about leviticus is 'boredom', it seems so dry and so repetitive and so detailed and dull. but this time reading it i've been thinking about how elaborate it is, and what a process it is the make restitution for sin. i wrote under the title of the book in my bible "A HEAVY WEIGHT" because i think that is what we ought to feel as it's read.
and today i read 6:12-13 about the altar
"The fire on the altar must be kept burning; it must not go out. Every morning the priest is to add firewood and arrange the burnt offering on the fire and burn the fat of the fellowship offerings on it. The fire must be kept burning on the altar continuously; it must not go out."
and it hit me a little, that God was openly not creating a system that would deal with sin. in generations down the line the priests would be burning sacrifices on the fire that Aaron first used. and every day of the calendar year the priests would have the flame alive and burning because there would be need, every day, for a sacrifice for sin.
and i thought about how amazing it was that in Hebrews it can say about Jesus:
"Day after day every priest stands and performs his religious duties; again and again he offers the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins. But when this priest had offered for all time one sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God. Since that time he waits for his enemies to be made his footstool, because by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy."
and without ever or at all wanting to undermine the finality of Jesus' sacrifice, i think that the constant fire in leviticus still stands to teach me something.
i thought about how the fire was a continual reminder of sin and separation and a need for sacrifice. and i thought about how before you get to chapter four of leviticus you've had a whole list of sacrifices, but you still haven't had one that deals with sin. and how there is a place for sacrifices of fellowship and free-will offerings in the people of God (and in me, a person of God).
and i thought it would be a good thing if i went through my days and weeks and years, considering this fire that 'must not go out' and to apply this to myself in the constancy of my repentance. to bring every sin to God every day, without a lamb or a bull or a goat or a ram, but trusting in Jesus' blood. but the lesson for me here is that the fire of my repentance is one that 'must not go out'. i mustn't leave my sin and hide it and forget it and let it grow; bur at every moment, every shortcoming and failing, i should come to His throne and confess my inadequacy and appeal to His cross, which has made perfect forever those who are being made holy.
Monday, 22 February 2010
Sunday, 21 February 2010
fear
He whose walk is upright fears the LORD, but he whose ways are devious despises him
proverbs 14:2
Moses said to the people, "Do not be afraid. God has come to test you, so that the fear of God will be with you to keep you from sinning."
exodus 20:20
i meant to do a word-search, systematic theology of 'fear'. i meant to do that nearly two years ago but i didn't get around to it. this proverb brought it to my attention today and i realised it was a test of fear to look at your life. how do i feel about God = what's my walk like?
i love exodus 20:20 because it puts 'afraid' and 'fear' next to each other and uses them completely differently. God doesn't want us to be sacred, but He does want us to fear Him. like we're standing in front of an active volcano and it's not time to play games.
we don't wake up trembling, but we eat and drink knowing who He is, what He is like, what He's capable of. Jesus says that, right?
do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.
matthew 10:28
i don't know that i have that austere seriousness very often.
which probably also explains why my walk is often less than upright.
things to pray for
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
the safe fire
i read proverbs 10 today and as i read "the way of the LORD is a refuge for the righteous, but it is the ruin of those who do evil" i thought about that duality.
in Cornhill we were looking at Amos and we had to study this one section which is apparently the most famous chiasm in the Old Testament. Amos 5:1-17. and we went into groups to talk about teaching it and people were throwing all this stuff around and trying to come up with points at stuff. but i just kept looking at the structure.
there's God's judgment at the start and finish
there's His command to Seek Him and live
there's their obvious guilt
there's God's character as Creator etc
and in the middle is says "the LORD is His name"
and people talked about how we're learning about God and do we know Him and they said some things, but i thought that the thing is, as you step through the text you've got to start asking questions. if judgment is coming from God, how can He then also offer them life? and the next thing it spells out is how obviously guilty they are and then how magnificent God is and in the middle of it all "the LORD is His name". that has got to be the point. where else is there safety in the arms of the wrathful judge? how else can this perfect God forgive a guilty people? how do we hold all these things together? the LORD is His name. that is YHWH's character. He is all about justice, but He is all about mercy.
and if we're to escape the fearful judgment, the promises of destruction, the wrath of God, the lake of fire, the abolition of the unfaithful, we're told to run straight towards the danger. because the one who has wrath, also has our protection.
He is the safe fire
and i love that that is true. i love that the gospel is news of such ferocious danger and such free liberating life. and more than life; endless, full, perfect life. and they both come from the same source, they are from the same hand. if we have any fear of the wrath of God, we run to Him for safety. continually in His word, God commends those who take refuge in Him. our action of merit is fleeing to Him for safety. to run at the flames is to avoid being burned.
in Cornhill we were looking at Amos and we had to study this one section which is apparently the most famous chiasm in the Old Testament. Amos 5:1-17. and we went into groups to talk about teaching it and people were throwing all this stuff around and trying to come up with points at stuff. but i just kept looking at the structure.
there's God's judgment at the start and finish
there's His command to Seek Him and live
there's their obvious guilt
there's God's character as Creator etc
and in the middle is says "the LORD is His name"
and people talked about how we're learning about God and do we know Him and they said some things, but i thought that the thing is, as you step through the text you've got to start asking questions. if judgment is coming from God, how can He then also offer them life? and the next thing it spells out is how obviously guilty they are and then how magnificent God is and in the middle of it all "the LORD is His name". that has got to be the point. where else is there safety in the arms of the wrathful judge? how else can this perfect God forgive a guilty people? how do we hold all these things together? the LORD is His name. that is YHWH's character. He is all about justice, but He is all about mercy.
and if we're to escape the fearful judgment, the promises of destruction, the wrath of God, the lake of fire, the abolition of the unfaithful, we're told to run straight towards the danger. because the one who has wrath, also has our protection.
He is the safe fire
and i love that that is true. i love that the gospel is news of such ferocious danger and such free liberating life. and more than life; endless, full, perfect life. and they both come from the same source, they are from the same hand. if we have any fear of the wrath of God, we run to Him for safety. continually in His word, God commends those who take refuge in Him. our action of merit is fleeing to Him for safety. to run at the flames is to avoid being burned.
antioch
Acts 13&14 is such an exciting episode.
Paul and Barnabas set out and go preach the gospel around a host of different cities, go through severe persecutions, lots of people are saved, the gentiles believe and they pass back through encouraging all the new converts on their way home.
and then get back to Antioch and tell everyone all about it.
i kept thinking as i read through some of Acts that Antioch would have been such an exciting place. for some reason believers are first called Christians there (probably because their lives and words had such a focus on Christ) and Paul and Barnabas were always there and coming back to there and spending years there teaching and telling of the things God had done through them.
i'd love to have been there as the two of them came back from a trip, to welcome them and hear all their stories. i'd love to have passed one of them in the marketplace or woken up excited on the sabbath to hear them teach in the synagogue. the early church days were so beautiful and thrilling, and it's great to read about it and remember that it was all real.
Paul and Barnabas set out and go preach the gospel around a host of different cities, go through severe persecutions, lots of people are saved, the gentiles believe and they pass back through encouraging all the new converts on their way home.
and then get back to Antioch and tell everyone all about it.
i kept thinking as i read through some of Acts that Antioch would have been such an exciting place. for some reason believers are first called Christians there (probably because their lives and words had such a focus on Christ) and Paul and Barnabas were always there and coming back to there and spending years there teaching and telling of the things God had done through them.
i'd love to have been there as the two of them came back from a trip, to welcome them and hear all their stories. i'd love to have passed one of them in the marketplace or woken up excited on the sabbath to hear them teach in the synagogue. the early church days were so beautiful and thrilling, and it's great to read about it and remember that it was all real.
Saturday, 13 February 2010
i am the thief
things have been quite busy, so that i haven't sat to write here,
but i have written other things, like this talk on Luke 23, see below
if you've got time then
but i have written other things, like this talk on Luke 23, see below
if you've got time then
Wednesday, 10 February 2010
proverbs 10:3
"the Lord does not let the
righteous go hungry
but he thwarts the cravings
of the wicked"
righteous go hungry
but he thwarts the cravings
of the wicked"
flavour
i've recently been learning that Jesus isn't vegetables. He's not the good we should have but lacks the appeal of the sugar we want. He is substance and flavour and we lose nothing when we gain Him.
Tuesday, 9 February 2010
Beautiful, Scandalous Night
"go on up to the mountain of mercy
to the crimson perpetual tide
kneel down on the shore
be thirsty no more
go under and be purified
follow Christ to the holy mountain
sinner sorry and wrecked by the fall
cleanse your heart and your soul
in the fountain that flowed
for you and for me and for all
at the wonderful, tragic, mysterious tree
on that beautiful, scandalous night you and me
were atoned by His blood and forever washed white
on that beautiful, scandalous night
on the hillside, you will be delivered
at the foot of the cross justified
and your spirit restored
by the river that poured
from our blessed Savior's side
go on up to the mountain of mercy
to the crimson perpetual tide
kneel down on the shore
be thirsty no more
go under and be purified"
to the crimson perpetual tide
kneel down on the shore
be thirsty no more
go under and be purified
follow Christ to the holy mountain
sinner sorry and wrecked by the fall
cleanse your heart and your soul
in the fountain that flowed
for you and for me and for all
at the wonderful, tragic, mysterious tree
on that beautiful, scandalous night you and me
were atoned by His blood and forever washed white
on that beautiful, scandalous night
on the hillside, you will be delivered
at the foot of the cross justified
and your spirit restored
by the river that poured
from our blessed Savior's side
go on up to the mountain of mercy
to the crimson perpetual tide
kneel down on the shore
be thirsty no more
go under and be purified"
Monday, 8 February 2010
sin's aim
"sin aims always at the upmost; every time it rises up to tempt or entice, might it have its own course, it would go out to the utmost sin in that kind. every unclean thought or glance would be adultery if it could; every covetous desire would be oppression, every thought of unbelief would be atheism, might it grow to its head. men may come to that, that sin may not be heard speaking its scandalous word in their hearts - that is, provoking to any great sin with scandal in its mouth; but yet every rise of lust, might it have its course, would come to the height of villainy; it is like the grave that is never satisfied. and herein lies no small share of the deceitfulness of sin, by which it prevails to the hardening of men, and so to their ruin - it is modest, as it were, in its first motions and proposals, but having once got footing in the heart by them, it constantly makes good its ground, and presses on to some farther degrees in the same kind. this new acting and pressing forward makes the soul take little notice of what an entrance to a falling off from God is already made; it thinks all is indifferently well if there be no further progress; and so far as the soul is made insensible of any sin - that is, as to such a sense as the gospel requires - so far it is hardened; but sin it still pressing forward, and that because it has no bounds but utter relinquishment of God and opposition to him; that it proceeds toward its heights by degrees, making good the ground it has got by hardness, is not from its nature, but its deceitfulness. now nothing can prevent this but mortification; that withers the root and stikes at the head of sin every hour, so that whatever it aims at, it is crossed in. there is not the best saint in the world, but if he should give over this duty, would fall into as many cursed sins as ever any did of his kind"
-John Owen [the mortification of sin]
'christian' friends
well you think about x
and you think, she's not too uncharacteristic of the sydney anglicans who are at the conferences, occasionally putting up a spiritual status update, who have got terms like "serving" flying around, will add a verse to a birthday card and have hillsong on their ipod.
and then you think.
has she...
have they...
ever sat down with exodus 20 and thought "the God whom i worship is a consuming fire"? have they ever had the option of something they want and something God wants and they've clenched their teeth and said "Lord, i'm trusting that your way leads to life"? and if all the 'glamour' and 'fun' of the Sydney christian scene faded, where would they be? where would they be in Africa where it takes more than throwing around buzz words to explain the gospel? and where you need to be able to say "yes God was sovereign when you were raped and your parents killed, but let me tell you why He's still good and how He can heal"
i see myself, 'giving it all up and moving to england' and there's me preaching the bible and writing 'articles' and being interviewed. going away on mission. teaching the youth and the sunday school. and whatever else i've done to be an encouraging example of a passionate christian man. and i can see that in so much of it my heart was hard and i was cold and i was far away.
and it makes me think;
if before now i was so easily wayward and so frequently 'nowhere' (while i also struggled with this and was determined to change.)
where are these people?
it just makes me wonder what goes on inside the majority.
i'm sure on the Last Day we will be shocked by just how many people God saved. billions. but i think we'll be equally shocked by how few of our generation's church-goers are among them.
and you think, she's not too uncharacteristic of the sydney anglicans who are at the conferences, occasionally putting up a spiritual status update, who have got terms like "serving" flying around, will add a verse to a birthday card and have hillsong on their ipod.
and then you think.
has she...
have they...
ever sat down with exodus 20 and thought "the God whom i worship is a consuming fire"? have they ever had the option of something they want and something God wants and they've clenched their teeth and said "Lord, i'm trusting that your way leads to life"? and if all the 'glamour' and 'fun' of the Sydney christian scene faded, where would they be? where would they be in Africa where it takes more than throwing around buzz words to explain the gospel? and where you need to be able to say "yes God was sovereign when you were raped and your parents killed, but let me tell you why He's still good and how He can heal"
i see myself, 'giving it all up and moving to england' and there's me preaching the bible and writing 'articles' and being interviewed. going away on mission. teaching the youth and the sunday school. and whatever else i've done to be an encouraging example of a passionate christian man. and i can see that in so much of it my heart was hard and i was cold and i was far away.
and it makes me think;
if before now i was so easily wayward and so frequently 'nowhere' (while i also struggled with this and was determined to change.)
where are these people?
it just makes me wonder what goes on inside the majority.
i'm sure on the Last Day we will be shocked by just how many people God saved. billions. but i think we'll be equally shocked by how few of our generation's church-goers are among them.
Sunday, 7 February 2010
sunlight
sorry
i was taking photos of the window
and enjoying how still i was allowed to sit
and i lost track of time
i saw God in the sun and the storm cloud
the sun shines so quietly, but so actively
i'm indoors and the window's only showing a storm cloud
but there's the sun
does the sun exist?
is there actually a ball of fierce power and deadly heat?
is there a sphere hundreds of times the earth in the sky?
it doesn't look like there is
from my desk
but there are marks on the wall
sunlight markings
just saying "yes. i'm here"
quietly spread into my room and over my wall
i hope you know that we're not talking about the sun
day 526
i feel beaten up
physically, spiritually, emotionally
dragging my body between events without sleep or rest or time to cease
i'm running on empty and taking more things on and i'm tired and sore
physically, spiritually, emotionally
dragging my body between events without sleep or rest or time to cease
i'm running on empty and taking more things on and i'm tired and sore
Thursday, 4 February 2010
ezra 9
The context is really the history of Israel before and after exile. But we get to that. Ezra has come to Jerusalem 79years after the first Israelites returned. The temple has been complete for 58 years. He gets there in the 5th month and then in the 9th month he gets the message in 9:1
“the people of Israel and the priests and the Levites have not separated themselves from the peoples of the lands with their abominations [8 Gentile races]”
we left it at a pretty dramatic point last week. Ezra has just heard this news, and 9:3 “as soon as I heard this I tore my garment and my cloak and pulled hair from my head and beard and sat appalled” – v4 he stays until the evening sacrifice. At that point v5 he gets on his knees and spreads out his hands to the Lord and prays.
And it’s a powerful prayer.
1. [v6-7] what Israel have done
Ezra comes before God ashamed and blushing and unable to lift his face to God.
He admits their complete guilt before God. Their iniquities have risen higher than their heads and their guilt has mounted up to the heavens. And he’s real about what has taken place in Israel’s history v7 “from the day of our Fathers to this day we have been in great guilt”. There are no real old golden days for Israel, in reality they have always been a nation of sinners, just as this world is populated entirely with sinful people. And it’s that sin that got them into exile in the first place.
“given into the hand of the kings of the lands, to the sword, to captivity, to plundering and to utter shame, as it is today”.
Ezra doesn’t make light of Israel’s situation, he doesn’t gloss over it. but on his knees in the space of two verses he says: ashamed, blush, iniquity, guilt, great guilt, iniquities, utter shame.
2. [v8-9] what God has done
v8 “but now” in spite of all that Israel are and all that Israel have done, God has still been good to them, has still been gracious to them. “for a brief moment favour has been shown by the Lord our God to leave us a remnant and to give us secure hold within his holy place” all the actions God has taken seem to be completely backwards. Because Ezra still feels the shock of God’s kindness on the backdrop of their unfaithfulness and deserved exile.
Firstly he hasn’t wiped them out, but He has left them a remnant.
Secondly He hasn’t left them in exile but has given them a secure hold of the holy land.
Thirdly he hasn’t left them in slavery but has brightened their eyes and given them freedom and relief.
Beautifully, humbly, soberly v9 starts with a four word sentence – “for we are slaves”
and yet this specific deliverance has taken place with the King of Persia and allowing them to rebuild the temple and even down the protection we heard about in previous weeks. And it’s all a result of his steadfast love. Any other love would waver with such a wayward people, but God’s love is exceptional.
3. [v10-15] now what?
And with these two clear in Ezra’s mind, and laid before the Lord. And with the knowledge in his mind, of why his beard and hair are torn and why his garment and cloak are in rags. He asks the question v10 “and now, O our God, what shall we say after this? For we have forsaken your commandments” [again. We’ve done it again].
It’s not a new law or a new error, but God was clear as Ezra cites a combination of Deuteronomy 11, Isaiah 1 and Ezekiel 37
and the clarity of such a law increases the guilt of the priests and Levites who are mentioned as those who have intermarried in 9:1.
And v13-14 Ezra puts everything up against each other
“And after all that has come upon us for our evil deeds and for our great guilt, seeing that you, our God, have punished us less than our iniquities deserved and have given us such a remnant as this,
shall we break your commandments again and intermarry with the peoples who practice these abominations?”
but there isn’t really a prayer. There doesn’t seem to be any grounds even to plead.
In this situation will God consume them so there should be no remnant nor any to escape?
v15 is a summary verse
what else can he say but: “O LORD the God of Israel, you are just, for we are left a remnant that has escaped, as it is today. Behold, we are before you in our guilt, for none can stand before you because of this”
and we leave Ezra there, on the ground, unable to stand before the Lord for the guilt of Israel. And this prayer, this representation of Israel to God, it isn’t anything more than admitting what they have done and how terrible it is. it’s not a wild plea, but I suppose it’s Ezra seeing Israel with the Lord’s eyes and saying “we are terrible to you even when you are so great to us”.
which is why my big idea is Ezra confesses Israel’s guilt to their righteous God. it doesn’t appear to be more than that.
and I’d have to be careful in applying it, because I so easily identify with this prayer of continual sinfulness. This sort of millionth apology that I’m sure we can all identify with. But I guess there is something here for us as the teachers of the people – since the sin mentioned was not limited to but shockingly includes the priests and the Levites. Because surely we who are closest to the Laws of God are also aware of how frequently we fall short of them.
so in main application I’d want to draw that thick line between God then and God now and the patience and mercy He has for such a wayward people. And the holy response to such sin is to run to, not from God.
“the people of Israel and the priests and the Levites have not separated themselves from the peoples of the lands with their abominations [8 Gentile races]”
we left it at a pretty dramatic point last week. Ezra has just heard this news, and 9:3 “as soon as I heard this I tore my garment and my cloak and pulled hair from my head and beard and sat appalled” – v4 he stays until the evening sacrifice. At that point v5 he gets on his knees and spreads out his hands to the Lord and prays.
And it’s a powerful prayer.
1. [v6-7] what Israel have done
Ezra comes before God ashamed and blushing and unable to lift his face to God.
He admits their complete guilt before God. Their iniquities have risen higher than their heads and their guilt has mounted up to the heavens. And he’s real about what has taken place in Israel’s history v7 “from the day of our Fathers to this day we have been in great guilt”. There are no real old golden days for Israel, in reality they have always been a nation of sinners, just as this world is populated entirely with sinful people. And it’s that sin that got them into exile in the first place.
“given into the hand of the kings of the lands, to the sword, to captivity, to plundering and to utter shame, as it is today”.
Ezra doesn’t make light of Israel’s situation, he doesn’t gloss over it. but on his knees in the space of two verses he says: ashamed, blush, iniquity, guilt, great guilt, iniquities, utter shame.
2. [v8-9] what God has done
v8 “but now” in spite of all that Israel are and all that Israel have done, God has still been good to them, has still been gracious to them. “for a brief moment favour has been shown by the Lord our God to leave us a remnant and to give us secure hold within his holy place” all the actions God has taken seem to be completely backwards. Because Ezra still feels the shock of God’s kindness on the backdrop of their unfaithfulness and deserved exile.
Firstly he hasn’t wiped them out, but He has left them a remnant.
Secondly He hasn’t left them in exile but has given them a secure hold of the holy land.
Thirdly he hasn’t left them in slavery but has brightened their eyes and given them freedom and relief.
Beautifully, humbly, soberly v9 starts with a four word sentence – “for we are slaves”
and yet this specific deliverance has taken place with the King of Persia and allowing them to rebuild the temple and even down the protection we heard about in previous weeks. And it’s all a result of his steadfast love. Any other love would waver with such a wayward people, but God’s love is exceptional.
3. [v10-15] now what?
And with these two clear in Ezra’s mind, and laid before the Lord. And with the knowledge in his mind, of why his beard and hair are torn and why his garment and cloak are in rags. He asks the question v10 “and now, O our God, what shall we say after this? For we have forsaken your commandments” [again. We’ve done it again].
It’s not a new law or a new error, but God was clear as Ezra cites a combination of Deuteronomy 11, Isaiah 1 and Ezekiel 37
and the clarity of such a law increases the guilt of the priests and Levites who are mentioned as those who have intermarried in 9:1.
And v13-14 Ezra puts everything up against each other
“And after all that has come upon us for our evil deeds and for our great guilt, seeing that you, our God, have punished us less than our iniquities deserved and have given us such a remnant as this,
shall we break your commandments again and intermarry with the peoples who practice these abominations?”
but there isn’t really a prayer. There doesn’t seem to be any grounds even to plead.
In this situation will God consume them so there should be no remnant nor any to escape?
v15 is a summary verse
what else can he say but: “O LORD the God of Israel, you are just, for we are left a remnant that has escaped, as it is today. Behold, we are before you in our guilt, for none can stand before you because of this”
and we leave Ezra there, on the ground, unable to stand before the Lord for the guilt of Israel. And this prayer, this representation of Israel to God, it isn’t anything more than admitting what they have done and how terrible it is. it’s not a wild plea, but I suppose it’s Ezra seeing Israel with the Lord’s eyes and saying “we are terrible to you even when you are so great to us”.
which is why my big idea is Ezra confesses Israel’s guilt to their righteous God. it doesn’t appear to be more than that.
and I’d have to be careful in applying it, because I so easily identify with this prayer of continual sinfulness. This sort of millionth apology that I’m sure we can all identify with. But I guess there is something here for us as the teachers of the people – since the sin mentioned was not limited to but shockingly includes the priests and the Levites. Because surely we who are closest to the Laws of God are also aware of how frequently we fall short of them.
so in main application I’d want to draw that thick line between God then and God now and the patience and mercy He has for such a wayward people. And the holy response to such sin is to run to, not from God.
Tuesday, 2 February 2010
grumbling
in exodus 16-17,
just after ten giant plagues in Egypt
and immediately after the crossing of the Red Sea
[which is so miraculous that the whole nation of 600,000 men, besides women and children, sing praises to God as their Saviour and because of the certainty that He will take them to the Promised Land]
three days after that they're thirsty and they start to say things like "did you bring us out here to die?" and "it'd be better if we were back in Egypt". and then a couple of months in they're dying of thirst again and Moses says to God that the people are so angry that they are ready to stone him.
and there are so many things going on here. in Hebrews we'll learn that even though they had so much reason to, they majority never had true faith in God. and in Corinthians Paul's going to tell us that this is all a warning to us to, among other things, make sure we don't grumble.
and so the main thing i was asking myself as i walked home last night was: 'did the Israelites have reason to grumble?'
and i thought about my own life and the areas where i would think i was justified in grumbling.
and on the one hand - yes, of course they had reason to. they had left their homes and property and had with them only what could be carried and they were out in the desert dying of thirst and soon their entire nation would be wiped out. it was a severe situation.
but on the other hand - no. are you insane? you have been delivered from Egypt by a God of limitless power that has been demonstrated on many occasions, in crucial times for your good and preservation and with the end that you will be taken to a great land of beauty and freedom away from the chains and impossible labour you were under.
and i suppose this does connect these things together because the only reason you'd complain would be if you didn't trust that God was good and able to provide for you.
so then there's me. going through life's little ups and downs. and in the downs i'm wondering and i'm praying and i don't know why on earth God has brought me to this place. why does He want me to feel like this? and i'm tempted to throw my lot in with Israel and just complain. but the question is not 'am i experiencing anything that's difficult here?' because nine times out of ten the answer will legitimately be 'yes' (and then we'll feel like we're justified in complaining) but the question is 'am i in a situation that is out of God's control?' because the answer to that is always 'no' and with it, the question 'do i have cause to complain?' will be 'no' also.
just after ten giant plagues in Egypt
and immediately after the crossing of the Red Sea
[which is so miraculous that the whole nation of 600,000 men, besides women and children, sing praises to God as their Saviour and because of the certainty that He will take them to the Promised Land]
three days after that they're thirsty and they start to say things like "did you bring us out here to die?" and "it'd be better if we were back in Egypt". and then a couple of months in they're dying of thirst again and Moses says to God that the people are so angry that they are ready to stone him.
and there are so many things going on here. in Hebrews we'll learn that even though they had so much reason to, they majority never had true faith in God. and in Corinthians Paul's going to tell us that this is all a warning to us to, among other things, make sure we don't grumble.
and so the main thing i was asking myself as i walked home last night was: 'did the Israelites have reason to grumble?'
and i thought about my own life and the areas where i would think i was justified in grumbling.
and on the one hand - yes, of course they had reason to. they had left their homes and property and had with them only what could be carried and they were out in the desert dying of thirst and soon their entire nation would be wiped out. it was a severe situation.
but on the other hand - no. are you insane? you have been delivered from Egypt by a God of limitless power that has been demonstrated on many occasions, in crucial times for your good and preservation and with the end that you will be taken to a great land of beauty and freedom away from the chains and impossible labour you were under.
and i suppose this does connect these things together because the only reason you'd complain would be if you didn't trust that God was good and able to provide for you.
so then there's me. going through life's little ups and downs. and in the downs i'm wondering and i'm praying and i don't know why on earth God has brought me to this place. why does He want me to feel like this? and i'm tempted to throw my lot in with Israel and just complain. but the question is not 'am i experiencing anything that's difficult here?' because nine times out of ten the answer will legitimately be 'yes' (and then we'll feel like we're justified in complaining) but the question is 'am i in a situation that is out of God's control?' because the answer to that is always 'no' and with it, the question 'do i have cause to complain?' will be 'no' also.
Monday, 1 February 2010
psalm 23
i don't understand psalm 23
i don't know if i'm the only one
i wondered this morning if Jesus had it in mind on the cross,
if after He quoted psalm 22 whether in their bibles psalm 23 came afterwards and he thought You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows - i wondered whether that suffering and safety duality was in his mind. and even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. but i don't fully understand how divided the trinity was on the cross. in my [flawed] mind there must be some deep low constant chord of fellowship, even in amongst the wrath of the Father being poured on the Son. they're working for a common purpose in it and achieving the glory of their name through it. but overall it just confuses me. seems reductive to just say it's a nice poem for the believer.
at any rate psalm 23 taught me
i don't know if i'm the only one
i wondered this morning if Jesus had it in mind on the cross,
if after He quoted psalm 22 whether in their bibles psalm 23 came afterwards and he thought You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows - i wondered whether that suffering and safety duality was in his mind. and even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. but i don't fully understand how divided the trinity was on the cross. in my [flawed] mind there must be some deep low constant chord of fellowship, even in amongst the wrath of the Father being poured on the Son. they're working for a common purpose in it and achieving the glory of their name through it. but overall it just confuses me. seems reductive to just say it's a nice poem for the believer.
at any rate psalm 23 taught me
He guides me in paths of righteousnessand so today i'm praying that for myself
for his name's sake.
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