'christian' friends

well you think about x
and you think, she's not too uncharacteristic of the sydney anglicans who are at the conferences, occasionally putting up a spiritual status update, who have got terms like "serving" flying around, will add a verse to a birthday card and have hillsong on their ipod.

and then you think.
has she...
have they...
ever sat down with exodus 20 and thought "the God whom i worship is a consuming fire"? have they ever had the option of something they want and something God wants and they've clenched their teeth and said "Lord, i'm trusting that your way leads to life"? and if all the 'glamour' and 'fun' of the Sydney christian scene faded, where would they be? where would they be in Africa where it takes more than throwing around buzz words to explain the gospel? and where you need to be able to say "yes God was sovereign when you were raped and your parents killed, but let me tell you why He's still good and how He can heal"

i see myself, 'giving it all up and moving to england' and there's me preaching the bible and writing 'articles' and being interviewed. going away on mission. teaching the youth and the sunday school. and whatever else i've done to be an encouraging example of a passionate christian man. and i can see that in so much of it my heart was hard and i was cold and i was far away.

and it makes me think;
if before now i was so easily wayward and so frequently 'nowhere' (while i also struggled with this and was determined to change.)
where are these people?
it just makes me wonder what goes on inside the majority.

i'm sure on the Last Day we will be shocked by just how many people God saved. billions. but i think we'll be equally shocked by how few of our generation's church-goers are among them.