loud music

there are a lot of things that are like listening to music in headphones.

when i'm listening to a song sometimes it sounds like i am there, standing in front of a band. and it colours everything. everything i'm doing and writing and seeing and how i'm moving. it is the 'communitas' that Victor Turner writes about - feeling united to everyone on the planet; as if life has a unified goal and purpose.

but at any point and for any reason i'll take off my headphones and cross the room. i can still hear the music, playing quietly from the small speakers and it's the same shape and form and tune and tone but it's smaller. it's a background noise of minimal significance.

and there are so many things that i am too close to. i can't see the big picture that they are just a noise in my ears. i'm too involved and too near to see that this is not the high point of reality, but this is just a piece of loud music which from another perspective is small and inconsequential.

the danger is not knowing
the real danger is to think that just because things feel one way (significant) that they are that way. because i feel like a fool when from three steps away i can barely hear the music that i could have sworn was the only thing that mattered.