beginnings

how many dominos need to fall for it to be considered ‘the domino effect’? surely just one has to hit the other, surely the very first moment is as much a part of things at the last moment or the middle. the middle is more exciting but it’s not like the first 100 are preparatory and the last 10 are an optional conclusion. every connection in the domino set up is a part of that event, they’re just arranged in different places. in fact, the first few connections are essential to there being any later on.

fulfillment

I read Matthew 1-2 yesterday and before Jesus makes a single decision He has already fulfilled six prophecies

He was born in David's line
He was born to a Virgin
He was given the name Jesus
He was born in Bethlehem
He went to Egypt
He settled in Nazareth

by the time He hit primary school He already had an impressive resume that He was the Christ

how real is real enough?

We are well taught Christians who live in a comfortable Christianity. Why don’t we run out the doors of church and scream the gospel from every corner? Why don’t we give our money to the poor and to ministries and just keep what we need? Why don’t we ask each other the hard questions and admit our weaknesses? Why don’t we persist with our non-Christian friends even when it’s hard? Why don’t we value the internal over the external with each other?

I want to suggest two reasons for this. Firstly - we don’t believe that it’s real, or we do believe but we’re not convinced. We live without urgency – forgetting the weight of the reality and the immediacy of the possibility of Jesus’ return.

Secondly – we’re fitting in to a Christian climate! We negotiate our lives under the prerequisite of whether or not we will be accepted by others and even other Christians.

But this should not be.

The reason we don’t do these things, I would like to suggest, is because we don’t have to. We’re looking for a pass mark from our Christian peers.

The average Christian doesn’t have to scream the gospel from the roof-tops, we just have to stop swearing. The average Christian doesn’t have to give dramatic amounts of money away; just some. We don’t have to persist with our non-Christian friends; just ask one to one outreach even and we don’t have to value the internal – its ok to make and effort on the externals and we expect everyone to look good enough.

There are those other things, those “extra” things that we could do to be distinction Christians, but they’re for the super keen, the high achievers. We do enough to get by.

And here’s where I want you to stop and think with me because I’ve been trying to reconcile the two.

Be honest with yourself when considering the above paragraph – we may be getting credits in some of those areas, be we’re struggling in others – others I haven’t mentioned and we know it. We’re apathetic.

Here’s my question – how can we, who live in such a reality (as mentioned) and deal with such a God (as discussed) ever be “doing enough”? The nature of our reality is eternal and infinite. Where do we find room to say “I’m passionate enough”? Joyful enough, loving, giving, caring, serving enough?

Enough to fit in with the other Christians perhaps. But why are we Christians? Because we each know and love the living God and it’s Him we’re trying to be like, not each other.

And so, brothers and sisters, I want to push us to push each other. To not get comfortable in our own conformity – but to remember and remind each other of our mind blowing reality in such a way that we never stagnate.

Not that it’s easy by any means, but I hope that you agree that it is important.

feelings

you'll forgive this for being 'applicable', i can hardly turn my thoughts off. but the rest is rhetoric, not directed to any individual even if it sounds specific, they're general thoughts.

you know who got it?
you know who got feelings and wasn't necessarily just a bookworm historian scouring for facts?
you know who had a full heart and anguish and joy?
david. he knew what was what. he knew what life was. he knew the measure of truth but he also knew the honesty of a human heart. and his heart was full, filled to bursting. he was a man who was swimming with love and passion and joy inexpressible. for as many days as he lived i bet he sang. i bet he sang with a passion of crazy proportions. his voice would be hoarse from high notes and repeated chorus and feeling. just raw, gutsy feelings and tears, more tears than i have cried in my whole life. he didn't shy away from 'reality' and he didn't shut things up into 'philosophy' and 'reason'. his life wasn't based on an obligation and he wasn't swept along by any culture, he was a man with an undivided heart. he was a man in love. he was drunk on the deepest love. it wasn't a rational love and it wasn't a tame love, he was physically overcome with affection and admiration for God. he was a baby lying, crying in safe arms of a God who knew every inch of his mind and every movement of his heart. he was a messy, flawed, weak little man, and he was head over heels for his Maker. even if a hundred other people have no idea what this is like, it doesn't change that fact that he does. his life was full and rich and colourful and real. he got it. go read his songs, he gets it.

loud music

there are a lot of things that are like listening to music in headphones.

when i'm listening to a song sometimes it sounds like i am there, standing in front of a band. and it colours everything. everything i'm doing and writing and seeing and how i'm moving. it is the 'communitas' that Victor Turner writes about - feeling united to everyone on the planet; as if life has a unified goal and purpose.

but at any point and for any reason i'll take off my headphones and cross the room. i can still hear the music, playing quietly from the small speakers and it's the same shape and form and tune and tone but it's smaller. it's a background noise of minimal significance.

and there are so many things that i am too close to. i can't see the big picture that they are just a noise in my ears. i'm too involved and too near to see that this is not the high point of reality, but this is just a piece of loud music which from another perspective is small and inconsequential.

the danger is not knowing
the real danger is to think that just because things feel one way (significant) that they are that way. because i feel like a fool when from three steps away i can barely hear the music that i could have sworn was the only thing that mattered.

life's beginning

the thing is - a cracked egg will never be a chicken
a silk worm will never be a dress
an acorn on the ground will never be an oak tree

but

a fertilised egg will be a human.
it is step 1 of many but the question isn’t “when does life begin?”
it begins at fertilisation
the question is “when does life stop?”
it doesn’t stop of its own accord…
instead it stops when you take the morning after pill
and it stops when you abort a baby at one of many of its stages of development.

why don’t we kill pre-pubescent children? they’re not at their final stage of development either. are we being stage-ist to say that a person needs to physically resemble a human to be alive?

with the logic of the egg/acorn/worm argument - why not destroy every egg, acorn and silkworm? and the answer is because we’d be killing off the planet’s hope of seeing an oak tree or a chicken. but then how can we attach such insignificance to these things as the argument does? and we find that it is short-sightedness.

an enduring city

Cornhill Finished.
the two years are over.
i have spent two days a week with the same 30-40 people for two years, wrestling together through God's word, how to know it, how to teach it. We have sat in one building in central London, but we've been to Mount Sinai together and all around Jerusalem with Jesus and we have also glimpsed the New Creation together, all in His word.

when it came for goodbyes, Cornhill has sensibly blocked out half of the last day to share our plans for the future and to pray for each other. and as we talked and prayed and thought about leaving, it was in a sense like heaven was breaking. we were the gathered people of God from Africa and Australia and England and Ireland and China and Russia and for two years we had gathered to hear God speak in His word and now we were leaving.

and it made life seem transient in a great way. and it made the gospel seem true and real and worth it. and it brought to mind that verse in Hebrews 13 "here we do not have an enduring city". we are meant to feel displaced, we are meant to live as exiles, we are meant to expect the delay of the coming of God's Kingdom, because there is work to be done here, lost souls to save. but one day we will have a city of our own and God will be there. one day we will be together again, and part of a multitude that cannot be counted and we will stay there in perfect joy forever.