friendship's second things

somewhere in this our conversations got stale

[maybe that's the wrong word. words are a bulky attempt at a feeling. my sister has a thing about words. something about cultures story telling and painting and how we're visual and literary communicators]

i don't know if it was the content
things that were the rarity
and then became the all
and it was a default

it's like making out in a relationship
or sex for some people.
you love someone, and it's all from who they are, and then you get them, and you date, and then you kiss, and it says everything, there in that action;
"i want you near me"
"you're the object of my affection"
and then soon it's all you do
and you miss them, because you put the expression of your affection first, as a means
not the end
and maybe that's us
and some of those things we do that were special shifted to the norm
and you forget why you're not feeling new things, when you're doing the old things
and then before long, a relationship that is the primary topic of its own conversations isn't really anything at all

c.s. lewis talks about friendship and relationships being two people standing side by side looking at something great together and saying "i think this is amazing" and "so do i"
like people with music and film and art and beauty, and hobbies and sports and video games and places
but if you turn to that person and say "i love that i love you" and they say "i love that too" and that's all you have, you're at a bit of a loss

i don't think that's us
i'm just working out the word 'stale'
and thinking of a synonymous idea
or synonymical

but you know that feeling when we're shoving the bi-product up centre stage.
c.s. lewis said it
"Put first things first and we get second things thrown in: put second things first and we lose both first and second things"