if not this, then what?

have you ever had that feeling of being at a party and everyone's there dressed in all that they wear, and there's music that we all love and there are drinks and there's food going around. and you're standing there with a beautiful house and lovely smiles all around you. and you sort of step out of the flow for a moment and you realise- you're really alone. and you think 'no one here really understands how i work' and 'all this stuff that we do doesn't make me feel any better in the long run'. and you look around yourself and it feels very meaningless all of a sudden. the whole concept of hanging around a noisy room seems less fun. it even begins to feel a bit like we're trying to distract each other. as if it's a collective effort to keep each other from thinking about both: how heavy life is, and how we're packing it full with meaningless things. and it begs the question that if this isn't making sense of life and bringing meaning, then what is, or what can?