pharaoh's heart

i've been reading exodus
i read chapters 9-11 on the train the other day
i was meeting a friend so i printed them out instead of carrying my whole bible and i sat by the window. it was a sunny day for the first time in a while and i read these pages, the story of the plagues with the sunlight flitting on the paper.

i read about the first nine plagues where Moses keeps going to Pharaoh to warn him what will happen is he doesn't let the Israelites go. and it jumped off the page to me how terrifying Pharaoh's hard heart was.

Egypt is being destroyed by frogs and blood and boils and hail, and there are horrific smells in all the streets and animals are dying and no one can sit still in comfort for even a moment. and time and time and time and time and time again Pharaoh doesn't get it. and i just wanted to jumped into the scene and shake him by the shoulders and say "what. are. you. doing?! your country is destroyed! every time they threaten something new you know it ends up happening and you know that it ends up being so bad that you beg for it to stop! how can you be so blind? how can you be so foolish?"
but at no point in the entire story does he see things clearly and at no point does he relent.

and really the terror was the exemplification of a hardened heart.

i remember sitting there on the train and with a concerned frown that i couldn't shake i prayed desperately that God would soften my heart.

because hard hearts are just. so. blind.
no wonder Paul says that it takes a miracle on par with the creation of the sun for a sinner to believe the gospel. and thank God that He "made His light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ"