when people die

we've had a couple of people die in our church this past month.
one was an old guy called Christian who was one of the first people i met from church, we bumped into him on the street. people said he was lovely but had been fading since his wife died a few years before. i saw him at the 'old men' bible-study when philippe and i would wheel another member around. when i told him that jonathan had given me a hairbrush for christmas so i'd look neat and presentable he said "that'll be the day". the other was emily's mother. emily and i lead youth group for a year together and she's one of the few who has down-to-earth conversations. she interviewed me in youth group the day i landed. and her mother got cancer and died a week before christmas. it all happened really fast.
there are memorial services soon.
it made me think about when i die.
i hope that people understand what has happened
i once wrote this:

"today i had a moment where i felt that i could sum life up into a word or a feeling. something happened, clicked, changed and it was as though i realised the driving force behind all that we do. i was listening to a song and seeing a scene, it was a funeral. nothing was very specific, there were no faces per se, but the mood was obvious. it was a group of about twenty people standing together around a grave – there was a sadness but a determination and a likemindedness.

here’s my point – we’re in a battle. we are in a spiritual battle that is real whether we like it or not. here we are, beings created by the One, True, Living God. that’s just how things are. we live on this planet in this universe that He has created that He has come down into and died for and will return to in glory.
we are in the last days. the plans of God are all that matter since He is in all and through all and before and above all and in Him everything holds together. everything. and His plans are coming to a climax.

here we are, caught up in something so beyond us but it doesn’t stop it being real. we forget so quickly. how much weight all of this holds. if we truly understood a single percent of all of this it was be impossible to forget.

so where do these two thoughts relate? well, the image I had was of some characters from a great story, some heroes on a quest dealing with life and death and striving for a cause of the utmost importance. in that situation you need to depend on the people around you, to rely on those who understand. you need support because it’s anything but easy, you need encouragement because it can get so discouraging. but what is shared among each character is perspective. the ability to press on because first of all you’ve understood that the stakes are so high and it is worth it. in fact, nothing else is worth anything. and somewhere in there along the way perhaps someone dies – what are you to do? one of your number is gone, no longer there to strive with you. you join together, you grieve together – but you realise and remind each other that – that person has made it, they’re home. this is where I saw what fellowship should be. i saw it in the extremes because the reality that we live in is extreme. but we so quickly forget – it is real"

and i believe that
i hope that when i die people come together and they understand that i've made it and i'm safe and i'm infinitely alive.
i hope some people pray for my family if they're still around.
i'd want "no fear of falling" by I Am Kloot to be played, just because i love it.
and i want the congregation to sing "O My Soul (Arise and Bless Your Maker)". and they should also sing "How Great Thou Art" because that's the perfect song for a time like that. especially because of (but not limited to) the last verse

When Christ shall come with shouts of acclamation
And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart!
Then I shall bow in humble adoration,
And there proclaim, my God, how great Thou art!

because i'll be home.